Sunday, September 12, 2004

The PTO Mafia/Organized Boy Scouts

It has recently come to my attention that there is a PTA Mafia in my neighborhood. It is run by a set of very scary woman, and their leader appears to be a woman I'll call Don Martha. Don Martha runs everything, including the Boy Scouts. She has been pressuring my son to join the Organization, but he has resisted so far. I'm supporting his decision, but am worried about the consquences of further resistance. While I'm not eager to be in Don Martha's pocket, it may not hurt to have such a powerful ally. When fund-raising time rolls around, she may be able to call in some favors, and my son can win the commemorative cheap plastic bracelet that is awarded for selling the most over-priced chocolates and day planners. But, at what cost? Having to work at bake sales the rest of the school year? Volunteering to sew 25 turkey costumes for the Thanksgiving Day recital? Buying all my son's school supplies from the back of a truck? Maybe even, (I shudder to think this) playground detail? And if I displease her, or if my loyalty to the PTO Family comes into question, will I end up wearing concrete Birkenstocks, swimming with the fish sticks?

Maybe I can get him to join the football team, instead. I hear the PeeWee Sports Family has better health benefits, anyway...


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