Wednesday, December 01, 2004

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Nekkid Barbie Time

My disease has no cure. It can go into remission, but is always there, just under the surface, and can flare up at the most inconvenient times, most often in the dead of night when all the craft stores are closed and you are forced to start hot-gluing dryer lint onto the back of cereal boxes to make Christmas ornaments because you just CANNOT STOP YOURSELF.

This Christmas is no different, except that I now have the time to actually finish projects, instead of starting them, running out of time, energy, or motivation to finish them, and piling them in the back of my closet like so much hand-embroidered/quilted/cross-stitched landfill ... filler. Plus, thanks so much to the Bastards That Canned Me (thought you'd heard the last of them, didn't you? HAH! You thought WRONG.), we can only partially fuel and enflame the greediness and materialism in our children that is their right and duty as Americans. Not only that, we have to do it with handmade items. We have little choice, please don't sic Social Services on us.

So, the demon doll that I made for T2's birthday will have a shitload of clothes to prance about in, as well as she can with no feet. T1 will have a huge, mondo-sized Harry Potter pillow that he can use to watch TV on, decorate up his room with, and hide small immigrant children under. It's that big. There will also be some fleece blankets like this, with appropriate characters emblazoned on them.
I have also purchased this pattern and will hopefully get at least two of the dresses made. However, finding suitable Barbie dolls that resemble the characters was a problem, since most of the Barbies at the store not only cost roughly half a month's rent, but also come with clothes, of all things. Then it hit me. I could go to that fount of human kindness and naked Barbiedom known as eBay, and I have since spent many nights, alone and in the dark, gleefully hunting down and buying as many naked plastic icons of womanhood that vaguely resemble animated icons of womanhood as I can find.

I love this time of the year.


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