OK, We Can Leave SpongeBob Alone, Now.

I don't care what anyone else says, this whole article is just a euphemism for dirty, dirty acts of perversity.

Key quotes:

'He found the animal communing with his dog, Dandy, and both seemed to be hitting it off. '

'The authority doesn't normally do goats, but Wellington says they get calls like that from time to time. '

'He's friendly, as long as you don't turn your back on him, Cox said. '

Sick, sick SICK.