Lucy, You Got Some 'Splainin' To Do

Things I don't understand:

*Why that young gentleman I saw at Wal*Mart this weekend thought it would be a good idea to wear a TAIL in public.

*Why my mother's helpful advice generally ends with a recipe for roast beef.

*Dust.

*The appeal and/or the reasoning behind aspic. It looks like clear snot, and doesn't taste like anything.

*Why the people who invented white chocolate and carob haven't been executed, or beaten, or made to live with Anna Nicole Smith.

*Anna Nicole Smith.


There it is. Anyone?