Sam-I-Am Can Kiss My Ass

I am bloated. I am crampy. I am flat broke. I am blocked (literally and figuratively). I am well on my way to becoming quite unpleasant. I am alienating readers left and right. I am not caring much. I am sure I will regret those words. I am in awe of Amy Tan. I am fucking sick of living in a fucking fishbowl with fucking loud and obnoxious fish for neighbors. I am hoping to someday be in the same league as Amy Tan, but I would settle for being in the same rock band. I am not holding my breath. I am not fishing for compliments. I am blasting them out of the water with cannonballs. I am not sure I am making the right decisions. I am not sure that is grammatically correct. I am sure somebody will tell me. I am done.