What a Bust, I'm Such a Boob

I try and try to put out a quality product, doing my best to provide the world at large with fact-based, sincere and enlightening discourse on the state of things, keeping myself abreast on current events and other really important shit. So, I'm sure you can understand my disappointment when I discovered that I only came in 5th in Google search hits for nasty nipple clamps.

I just can't fucking win.

(However, despite my utter and complete defeat, I now have a partial answer to that age old question: Are nipple clamps tax-deductible? Score!)