Hey! I Posted!

So, here it is. The long awaited and highly anticipated by two people year tribute post. Since I'm not one to mince words, and I'm also sure that at least one of those two is aiming a high powered rifle at my head, let's get on with it, shall we?

I originally started this blog to express my undying gratitude and devotion to The Bastards That Canned Me. Then it morphed into a catch-all of daily life, book and movie reviews, the sordid underbelly of suburbia and soccer moms. Then, I got bored, and just started to make shit up.

Monkey was the first person to wander in, left some very nice comments, and subsequently dragged me into his own twisted and perverted corner of the blogosphere, polluting my eyes and mind on a regular basis with more depravity and overall ickiness than I thought humanly possible. How I miss that man.

Then came Our Miss Flamingo Jones, who called me a 'Cool chica' because I used the word 'craptacular' in a sentence properly. Fine girl, that. And, although I am now and will always be the Mary to her Rhoda, she was the first to publicly admit that I caused her to spray milk out of her nose, and people like that must be worshipped and stalked and have their initials cut into your flesh at least once a week.

Somewhere along the way, I found The Son of Cheese. You can imagine my disappointment to discover that he was just some guy from Colorado, and not the end result of a steamy tryst between two consenting adult slices of American cheese. Then he went ahead and made me a theme song, and all was forgiven. (If you are unable to imagine my disappointment, go ahead and read this joke again, that should fix you right up.)

Then came Pops. I think I may have told him that he was my hero, that he was my new personal god, that I have two children, please don't pull the trigger ... no, wait, this last bit was directed at MPH. The other two, definitely attributed to Pops, not so much because his beautiful prose moved me to tears, so much as his lengthy posts wore me into submission. Must ... Google ... Brad ... Pitt's ... Dick ...

Yes, there are others. Many, many others. Others who use phrases such as Darth Vader Likes Cock, which still makes me giggle, and will also increase my skeevy Google search hits. There are those who provided me with more information about anal bleaching than I ever thought necessary, which will also boost up my perverted visitor quota. Then there are those who decimate posts but still leave behind pictures that get me all verklempt and gooshy inside.

Now, lest we forget, this blog IS ALL ABOUT ME. Therefore, here's a list of a few of my favorite things by and about me.

The Best and Worst and a Little Something in Between of Everything

Screw the Shark, I'm Going In

Clearly, I Don't Know What the Hell I'm Doing.

Apparently, December was a good time to be me.

Finally, here's some things that aren't about me, or by me, but are still very funny and may cause some people to sue me.

I Got Your 15 Minutes Right Here, Pal!


I Got Yer 15 ... No, 30 Minutes Right Here, Pal!

So, that's that, then. Thank you for your support, and have a pleasant tomorrow.