Monday, September 13, 2004

Beware the ANGRY VOICE!

I got my exit interview phone call today from The Bastards That Canned Me. The woman on the other end of the phone was very nice, and was very frightened of my ANGRY VOICE. My ANGRY VOICE has caused grown men to cry, empires to crumble, large dogs to wet themselves involuntarily ... Anyway, after telling her why I left, and I switched from my ANGRY VOICE to my PITY ME VOICE, she was very apologetic, even offering sage advice and words of encouragement. Which made me feel like the world's biggest ... bad person. Ever.

I've discovered that in situations like this, sometimes the best thing to do is hide under the covers for awhile. Another good thing to do usually requires vast amounts of alcohol, but the kids were home, and it was only noon... Anyway, I'm under the covers, the door is closed, and the cat is having convulsions on the other side. "Omg, omg OMG OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!! The Woman is making those funny noises she makes when her face is getting wet, and this infernal large thing is in the way again, she needs me let me in let me in letmeinnnnnnnnn!!!" Then the door opens, the kids plow in screaming about someone touching or taking some Really Important Toy and This Is the End of the World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine), and the cat vomits on the carpet.

Which, coincidentally, has nothing to do with The End of the World, but everything about the continuation of it.


Blogger ladyslipper said...

I can relate... especially to the kid stuff. I never knew the word "mom" had 10 syllables.

12:06 AM  

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