Monday, October 04, 2004

Because I'm the Mom that ROCKS!

I'm also the mom that should be kept isolated from the rest of normal society.

Thing 2 has requested a Very Special Costume for Halloween, and, being Wonder-Crazy-Mom, I opted to make her a costume, instead of, say, cheating and buying her one. Now, the costume she requested has 2 patterns, the Easy-to-Sew one, and the Supposed-Easy-to-Sew-But-Is-Actually-the-Plans-For-the-Invasion-of-Crete. Guess which one I bought? (Here's a clue: I'm INSANE.)

Anyway, we first went to the 'good' fabric store, the one where the Sewing Nazi sales associates look at you like you just vomited on the floor when you ask for help. When we finally beat the necessary information out of the least helpful yet slowest running clerk we could find, we found the correct material. And then we vomited on the floor. The material for the bottom half of the costume alone would have run close to $50.00. And that was just the material, it wasn't including the lining, the thread, the navigational charts, etc ... I was about to start asking Thing 2 if she wouldn't rather be the Unknown Comic for Halloween, but then decided to have a go at Wal-Mart, instead.

That's where we spent the next day (see previous post). The entire costume, including the material, notions, land-to-air missiles, ended up coming to approximately $25.00. At that price, I could quite easily be persuaded to attack Rhode Island, as well.

So, I'm home, I'm happy, and quite pleased with myself. Then I open the pattern, and everything is shot to hell. What the hell is horsehair, and why in God's name am I putting it anywhere near my child's body? These aren't notches, these are triangles, where are the scissors, are these people on acid? AND HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO RE-FOLD THIS PATTERN SO IT CAN FIT BACK IN THE ENVELOPE?!? Yet, after copious swearing, more temper tantrums than I care to admit to, and quite a few calls to people who understand how to conquer small islands, I was able to get over my unreasonable hatred towards and recognize the importance of taffeta, and even managed to cut out some pattern pieces.

Now all I need to do is find out where Crete is.

5 Comments:

Blogger sunny said...

Good gracious, I'm so glad I stumbled over here, because otherwise, I might have completely forgotten that it's time to think about halloween costumes.

I'll spare my mom the trauma, though, and buy my own.

Good luck!

5:08 PM  
Blogger Yoli said...

What a pain!
My mom used to dress me up with a big white blanket covered in red nail polish and she would cover my face and hair with lots of baby powder. She said I was a lady ghost but nobody ever outside my mom and myself guessed my custome, I guess I was just too creepy to be a ghost, or maybe too dusty.

5:27 PM  
Blogger HappyFunBall said...

I actually do enjoy making the kids' Halloween costumes, but this is the first one I've made from a pattern. Usually, when I/we get an idea, I hit up the local thrift store(s) or make one from scratch, with Uber-Husband's help. Some of the more noteworthy ones have been The Blues Brothers (with my then-infant son wearing Mickey Mouse sunglasses), a flying monkey, complete with tail, from Wiz of Oz, Boo from Monsters, Inc. (UH was responsible for both of those, and did a bang-up job) and a skeleton, made solely out of black sweats and white contact paper cut in the shape of bones.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Pops said...

Waaaay too artsy-crafty. You know you can buy whole costumes for like $30. Already sown and everything. And not the cheap vinyl PJs with the plastic peripheral-vision-defeating facemask either, good ones at like the Disney Store or something.

Just never go to one of those specialty Halloween stores that spring up this time of year. Twice the price for tacky, cheap-ass costumes. And nothing at all if you're allergic to polyester.

10:44 PM  
Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said...

Holy Cow! We need to see a photo of this costume. I loved your description of the Sewing Nazi. So, it's not just me.

Re: Crete - it's south of Greece - and I'd be happy to assist you. The food & wine are great! Explore Crete!

6:15 PM  

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