Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Involuntary Acts of Employment

I've decided.
Since I 'voluntarily resigned', I'm going to 'voluntarily go back to work'. Yes, that's a good idea. I will walk back in, sit back at my cubicle (if anyone's appropriated it, I'll tip them out of the chair or sit on them, if they're exceptionally large and/or heavy), and start punching in numbers and answering the phones. "Oh, Bastards That Canned Me!" I'll say. "My passwords aren't working anymore, can you help me?" Then, around 11:00, I'll say "Oh, Bastards That Canned Me?" and they'll say "What?" and I'll ask "Can I take a longer lunch break?". "Oh, why not?" they'll say. They may even say "Take all the time you need!" And, on the off chance they aren't especially pleased with my new plan, and they ask me "What the hell are you doing here?" I will just explain. Then they may say "But you were FIRED!" Then I'll say "A-HAH!" And then I will voluntarily laugh and put Vaseline on their windshields.


Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said...

it works good on doorknobs & door handles/buttons on vehicles, too. But you didn't hear that from me.

9:48 AM  
Blogger HappyFunBall said...

Hear what? I'm at work, remember?

6:34 PM  

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