Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Daytime Television: It's GOOD For You!


Dave Barry made an interesting point once: "The more literate people get, the less likely they are to read my books." Which is rather ironic, since his band, The Rock Bottom Remainders performs to benefit ... uh ... some kids learning to write, and stuff.

I, however, have no such grand ideals. Or, maybe I would, if only people would start throwing money at me for no apparent reason (CoughCoughParisHiltonCough!). So, as another community service message which will ultimately only benefit myself, I have the following to say: Daytime Television is not only good for you, but it has 1/3 less carbs. Or more carbs.... Um, it tastes great?

I would like to write for a living. And, after a lot of soul searching, Research of Really Important Things, and vast amounts of beer, I've realized that I don't want to do it for the glamour, the prestige, not even for the jet-set lifestyle, wild parties and random sex with strangers that's inherent in the profession. Naw, I want to do it for the money! (Well, that and maybe a few of the wild parties. Or the free pens. I'm not picky.)

So, there it is. And how can you help? Burn your library cards. Cancel your subscription to the newspaper. Don't quit your jobs, though, because the paychecks are helpful when you start throwing money at me for no apparent reason. Of course, I will do my part, and actually start writing something that can be published and eventually paid for.

Just as soon as Blind Date is over.

4 Comments:

Blogger Yoli said...

LOL you're funny!

I read your last 6 posts...HM, never thought of putting vaseline on anybodies windshields but you gave me a grrreat idea to show it to my ex-ugly neighbor.

Cheers! :)

6:23 PM  
Blogger HappyFunBall said...

Well, thank you. And, if you do end up putting Vaseline on your neighbor's car, it's best to use the little tubes they sell for your lips, the ones that squirt out that little line of Vaseline ... or so I've *heard*. Oh, yeah, and you didn't hear it from ME.

10:18 PM  
Blogger Thumb Monkey said...

When I was in college, and majoring in writing, one of my professors told his class, "The average writer makes the equivalent of a teenager's allowance."

Moral of the Story: Don't be average.

7:18 AM  
Blogger Yoli said...

You're a G.E.N.I.O.U.S! I gotta go try that right now!
Vaseline little tubes....ooh! FAntastic!
Ok, I didn't hear it from you.
Ah you gotta teach me more stuff like that...I'm a evil woman!

10:23 AM  

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