Beware the Jabberwock, My Son!

Her Royal Kittenness may look very cute, fluffy and SMALL, but she's the Devil incarnate. You don't believe me, ask my children. I leave the room, she's curled up on the couch, innocent and purring. I come back, 5 minutes later, and she has my son trapped on the table. ON THE TABLE. He outweighs her approximately 10 to 1, yet he's sitting in the middle of the dining room table, while she's sitting directly beneath, staring at him and drooling. My daughter refused to leave my lap all day today, because every time she walked across the room, the cat materialized from vapor and attacked her. I can't sleep at night, because she's either trying to make a nest in my hair, or tunnel through my skull so she can eat my brain. And, just now, she wrestled the Boss Kitty, who weighs more than MY CAR, off the couch. Hmmm. Pray for me, loyal readers, I'm calling the exorcist.