Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Wash Your Hair or Go to Jail

In light of recent bile-spewing and hate mongering posts, I thought I'd change direction a bit, and, since I am a reasonably intelligent and well-read woman, and there is the debate going on tonight, I'd discuss something of Great Importance.

Hair products.

There are several different kinds, and, from what I gather from television commercials, if you pick the wrong one, you are doomed to be a sexless, frizzy haired freak of nature. Dogs will cower in your presence, infants will cry at your approach, the villagers will parade 'round your house with pitchforks and torches. You will, in fact, turn into this.

My husband knew that I was out of shampoo, and that my shampoo comes in a green bottle. He didn't know that I use Conditioning Shampoo for Damaged Hair. He got Volumizing for Thin Hair. Not, I'm not a shampoo expert, by any means, nor do I want to be one. Being a Shampoo Expert involves years of training, selling your soul to this man, and a frontal lobotomy. (This is not totally true. It actually only takes about 6 months, but there was math!) I don't know if I'm prepared to make such a commitment.

Now, you may be asking yourself: What does this mean? But are more likely asking: Why am I still reading this? You may be even asking: What's shampoo?

This means, that I'm not sure what using Volumizing for Thin Hair will do to me. I may become one of the Big-Haired People, and will have to change my name to Thelma Bob Sue Jean, and listen to country western music.

You are still reading this because it's Important to Know, and what else are you going to do? Read books? Exercise? VOTE?!?

And, finally, if you don't know what shampoo is, boy, are YOU in the wrong place. Maybe these people can help you. Or it can turn you into an anime fan, in which case, you're REALLY in the wrong place.


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