Less Than Zero
The good news, Robert Downey Jr's character won't drop dead at the end of this post, and neither will Susannah Hoffs (which, depending on your point of view, may be not good news at all). There is (also, depending on one's point of view), no bad news.
We are here, we are family, we are depositing as many teeny tiny errant Lego pieces in every imaginable crack, crevice, and crawlspace possible. We are concerned that that sounded funnier in our head than it appears in print. We are forging on, and have convinced ourselves that this is not so, and everyone has had an immediate laughter-induced coronary/embolism/major organ explosion upon reading it. We are NOT IN DENIAL. We are staying away from the caps key from now on, and we have also decided that we are not the Queen of England, so we can just shut the fuck up with this whole 'We' shit.
So, it's hot, Jaws is chewing up Florida teenagers like so much Bubblegum, Tom Cruise has replaced Anna Nicole Smith as the cockroach on the linoleum that is my life, and I'm now on cable high speed internet. (The first person who can come up with a logical connection to these three events clearly has nothing better to do, and therefore will not be awarded anything.) It's not what I was expecting, but then I was imagining that the sheer force of it would force my skin right off my bones, cause at least one of my internal organs to rupture, and the internet itself would jump out of my computer and dance around in a mad mad mad computerized version of the Macarena before smashing through the wall behind me with a drinking fountain and running off to live in the forest, feeding on smaller and slower computers. However, I did get to watch the trailer for Herbie, Fully Loaded, about 15 seconds before I even realized I wanted to, which was cool enough, I suppose.
We will have more to say later, we promise.