Saturday, March 24, 2007

Watching Too Many Movies Doesn't Make Me a Loser and Holy Crap This is a Long Meme Placeholder Post of DOOOOOOOM!

Check off the the ones you've seen and bold the ones you recommend!

(I have tried several times, unsuccessfully, to have a 'jump-to' link to shorten this long-ass thing. You'll just have to deal with it.)

(X) As Good As It Gets - Well, as good as it can get with Cuba Gooding Jr. in the cast.
(X) Good Will Hunting
(X) The Sixth Sense -
He was dead the whole time! And not just his career!
(X) Home Alone
(X) Jaws - We're gonna need a bigger boat.
(X) Men In Black
(X) Men In Black 2
(X) Cast Away
(X) Mrs. Doubtfire
(X) Ghost
(X) A Beautiful Mind
(X) Jurassic Park
(X) Passion of the Christ
(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean -
Johnny Depp, being all swashbuckley and shit ...
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest - See above
( ) Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club - Brad Pitt, in pre-Brangelina Do-Gooder hotness
(X) The Exorcist - New and exciting uses for split pea soup
(X) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles - It's twue! It's TWUE!
(X) Airplane - I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
(X) The Princess Bride
(X) AnchorMan -
I immediately regret this decision.
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
(X) Labyrinth -
David Bowie, aka Mr. Androgynous Yummy Pants
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II - I didn't Saw the first one, why would I wanna Saw this one? (Sorry about that, I couldn't resist.)
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
(X) Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp - This one time, in film school? I decided to make a really shitty movie ...
(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
(X) Little Black Book
(X) The Village - Yeah, so the movie sucked. But ... Joaquin Phoenix!
(X) Lilo & Stitch
(X) Finding Nemo
(X) Finding Neverland -
Johnny Depp, being all literary and shit.
(X) Signs
(X) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(X) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30 - The best thing about this was the Thriller dance-along. And that is really very sad.
(X) I, Robot - Yes, Will Smith, it IS possible to say "Oh, HELL no!" one too many times.
(X) Robots
(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge this movie. (But you shouldn't.)
( ) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly - Then She Was Hit By a Bus.
( ) Deep Impact
(X) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers - Sorry, Babs, but Kathy Bates is a much better (worse?) discomforting in-law.
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(X) King Kong - If I want to see a person be eaten alive by a giant slug, I'll go to my mother-in-law's for dinner.
(X) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal - Walk, Forrest. Walk!
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
(X) Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(X) Halloween - Jamie Curtis shows that knitting is truly a life-saving skill. Well, sorta.
(X) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
(X) Flubber
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(X) Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
(X) I Am Sam - I like my mentally challenged Sean Penn's to be a little less politically correct.
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street - Johnny Depp, being all messily eaten by a bed and shit
(X) Sixteen Candles - Because it's not every day you get felt up your grandmother
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(X) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(X) Predator I - Being forced to watch this should be just cause for divorce
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(X) Curious George - Mostly harmless, just the right amount of cute. It's the chipmunk of the movie world.
(X) Independence Day
(X) Cujo - I like big dogs. Big, slobbering, people eatin' dogs.
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(X) Christine - I like big cars. Big, slobbering, people eatin' cars.
(X) E.T. - I like big-headed aliens. Big-headed, slobbering, people eatin' ... wait, wrong movie. Sorry.
(X) Children of the Corn - One helluva way to get a theater full of misguided and pissed off Native Americans.
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan - There was a big dog in this movie. Couldn't they have locked J-Lo in a Ford Pinto and done Maid in Cujo, instead?
(X) War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - Alternate title: How To Lose Your Almost Famous Respect in 3 Years
(X) She’s All That - If by 'all that' you mean desperately annoying and absolutely dreadful, then, yeah, I can see it.
( ) Calendar Girls
(X) Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2 - This only deserves half boldness. "Now I know why you cry?!?" You're a fucking ROBOT.
(X) The Terminator 3
(X) X-Men
(X) X-2
(X) X3

(X) Spider-Man - I liked it, despite the fact that whenever Kirsten Dunst fell, she was caught before splattering onto the sidewalk.
(X) Spider-Man 2 - Still no Dunst-cakes, but watchable.
(X) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid - Hey, guess what? In the REAL story, the mermaid DIES. Let's give the kiddies some aquatic Circle of Life, what say?
(X) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(X) The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
(X) Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
(X) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old Virgin
(X) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring - If I weren't to bold these titles,
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - I'd automatically lose my membership (and all privileges therein) in the Dorks of America club
(X) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King- Actually, I just like seeing Orlando Bloom run around in blond hair and tights. Okay, just in tights.
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Was the annoying kid from Goonies really necessary? Really?!?
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Sean Connery. Mmmmmm.
( ) Base-ketball
( ) Hostel
(X) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf - Mostly harmless, but not nearly cute enough. It's the bedbug of the movie world.
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic - *Spoiler Alert* At the end of the movie, the ship sinks.
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(X) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - There are precious few family-friendly movies with talking beavers.
( ) 28 days later - Didn't see this one, but wasn't it about a bunch of zombies in rehab?
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(X) Waterworld - It's like Dances With Wolves, only there's more water, less buffalo, and ... oh yeah, it sucked!
(X) Kill Bill Vol. 1
(X) Kill Bill Vol. 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(X) Army of Darkness
(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace -
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones - Lord
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith - Of
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope - The
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back - Rings
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi - Ewoks!
( ) Ewoks: Caravan Of Courage - You can't be serious.
( ) Ewoks: The Battle For Endor - And you're name's not Shirley.
(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix: Reloaded
(X) The Matrix: Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(X) Evil Dead
(X) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( )Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs - It says it likes the movie, or else it gets the hose again.
( ) Hannibal - I'm sure Ray Liotta has a brain. I don't need to actually SEE it.