The last few posts over at Chez Miscarriage
have been about 'Mommy Drive-By's', where well-meaning (and often, not-so-well-meaning) people have made nasty, insulting, or just dumb as shit comments regarding another mother's parenting choices. There was a very long comment thread, where she asked mothers to share their stories, and it seemed that everyone was getting along famously, with nary an assface in the bunch.
Turns out, in order to keep things going along smoothly, the nasty comments were being diligently deleted as soon as they popped up. There's your proof, if you ever needed it, that there are people with balls bigger'n their brains, to post snotty remarks in a thread criticizing
snotty remarks. One of the letters received came from a highly enlightened person that I would love to go out for coffee with and then run over in the parking lot with my car. She detailed how, so often, she never said a word about the highly dangerous things she saw other mothers doing to their children, such as piercing their ears, letting them outside without mittens on, or letting newborns breathe outside a plastic bubble before 4 months of age. Ok, so I'm exaggerating a bit, but she's still an assface.
So, in light of this post, I'd like to share how I'm an unfit mother, and encourage others (mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, friendly neighbors with a beard, are all welcome) to follow suit. And when the trolls come, and I'm sure they will, we can dress 'em all in polyester leisure suits and feed 'em to the Fug Girls
. Or, something involving nipple clamps and battery cables. We'll see.
Unfit mother because:
I let my daughter stay in her pajamas all day long.
My son has to pour his own cereal in the mornings before school.
I breastfed both my kids. I also bottlefed both my kids.
I let them run around with no socks on under their shoes, and let them run around the house barefoot.
I have watched shows, in my son's presence, that contain several 4-letter words.
I have more, but I'm too riddled with shame and tequila to continue.