Things I'm Not Thinking Anymore

I was going to regale you all with a remarkably witty post about what thoughts were running through my mind, but since I've apparently confused 'remarkably' with 'horrifically' and 'witty' with 'long-winded piece of crap', I decided not to.

Instead, I'll just give you the highlights:

Yes, that was leftover popcorn bits scattered on the floor, and no, I didn't vacuum them.

My husband is not having an affair, but he still didn't respond to my link to the Worst Halftime Show Ever or what I want for Mother's Day, so he gets to sleep on the couch.

For Mother's Day, I'm considering designing my mother a spiffy spandex superhero costume (no capes!), and start calling her Mega It's Not MY Fault Woman, because she was obviously bitten by a radioactive spider that absolves her of ever doing anything wrong, and therefore she never has the need to apologize for anything. Ever. (I was sorely tempted to borrow Brent's idea, but that would indicate blame, which is not possible.)

Blah blah blah blahbitty blah blah.

Should that be spelled blahbiTTy, or blahbiDDy?

Can't ...write... Boredom ... crushing ...will ... to ... live... Must ... drink ... alcohol ...