Sunday, April 03, 2005

Life Lessons: Alias

Judge Judy just hasn't been coming out with the wise, wise words so much lately. The People's Court has been off it's game for some time now. So, I've had to search out other sources of enlightenment from the pretty moving picture box.

Thankfully, Alias has stepped up to the plate and provided me with the latest words to live your life by.

If I ever become rich, powerful, and obsessively yet understandably paranoid about hiding my shit from prying eyes, I will never rig up a security system that involves a retinal scan. More specifically, MY retinal scan. This is to protect myself from some computer geek with day old baby puke on his shirt getting all up in my bidness, offing me with a cell phone/handgun, and removing my left eyeball with a spork.

Heed these words, people, because nobody wants their eye(s) gouged out of their skull with a plastic eating utensil. Nobody.


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