Stupid Things That Make Me Inordinately Happy

That my daughter pronounces 'The Simpsons' as 'The Sim-Sims'.

Farting cats.

My son playing with my hair while we watched farting cats.

Gum. (No, not really, but if I said 'rum' that would make me sound like a total boozer.)

Tequila.

Beer.

KITTENS! I MEANT KITTENS.

Meeting old friends after a very very long time and jumping up and down and squealing in the parking lot then going to the zoo and doing unspeakably vile things to ice cream cones.

Humorous Google Hits performed by Maj. McSkeevy and his Band of Oddly Shaped Miscreants.

Starting new projects that I really have no time for but there is a set of really cool buttons waiting for me at the end of it.

Will Ferrell. (Yes, I said it, and I immediately regret this decision. No, I need more cowbell. Um, wait ...What's your favorite color?)

Snoring kids, dogs and husbands. Preferably mine, but any will do, in a pinch.

"I can't remember how this list ends, but your mother is a whore."
(No, not your mother. No, not yours, either. Oh, just click on the link, and I'll leave your mother out of it.