Well, I'm Pretty Sure That Gretchen Could Kick John Ratzenberger's Ass

So, we've got a new Pope, but did you watch The Amazing Race tonight? (If not, there are huge, mondo, fucking gi-normous spoilers, so go off somewhere, play with something entertaining, and come back when you're ready. And you've washed your hands, because I have no idea where that thing has been.)

Are they gone?

Okay, then, hang on kids, this is gonna be good. (Yes, it is, don't start, or I'll turn this post right back around and you can sit home and think about what you've done.)

It's official, I'm totally and completely in love with Joyce and Uchenna. (I've listed them both, because I have no idea who belongs to which name, but it doesn't matter, because when she unhesitantly agreed to shave her head, and he protested and I briefly thought that he was doing it because he didn't want to be with a bald woman but this sentence is going to have some form of punctuation I promise but I have to get this out quickly before I bust but he really was protesting FOR HER SAKE I just fell totally in love with them both. (See, I told you there would be a period eventually.)

Ok, that felt good. And Meredith and Gretchen (another couple with confusing names, and who marries a man named Meredith, anyway? I'll tell you who, Ms. BadAss Gretchen, that's who!) are The Little Geriatrics Who Could. They're just fucking unstoppable, the Energizer Bunnies of the Geritol crowd. And Gretchen, who unfortunately dropped a few jillion points in my estimation when she was standing like a deer in headlights last episode, not doing anything but whining when she should have been opening boxes like an ADD child on speed on Christmas morning, tripled her score when she was laughing at Amber and making snide comments when her camel decided to double back and go the other direction in the challenge. I was hoping against hope that she would pull a Jack Palance/Curly/City Slickers, and grunt something along the lines of "I crap bigger'n you" or "I have underwear older'n you*." Still, her inner bitch came out, and although she's no Joyce (or is it Uchenna?) I love her.

Rob and Ambah are still in the running, and I'm just hoping they stay around to keep things interesting, and then possibly get sat upon by a camel. Ron and Kelly, the Ron and Ambah wanna-bees, are just plain irritating, and I'm wondering how she's going to explain next week how 'Being a POW' equals 'getting out of the military'. Unfortunately, they didn't get eliminated or pushed off a cliff by Rob. However, Lynn and Alex were apparently befuddled due to a lack of face cream, and went to the wrong palace, and ended up in last place, and were eliminated, which just sucks.

And ... that's it!

(*Addendum: This last statement was uttered by my husband. Reason # 189084, even though he's going bald without the use of ANY major or minor appliances, that I love him way more than I could ever love Joyce, Uchenna, Gretchen, or even Meredith.)