How Many Miles Must a Man Walk ...

and how many times must a woman rip out stitches before she stabs someone in the leg with a knitting needle? (And, conversely, how far can a man walk with a knitting needle stuck in his leg?)

Yes, I've decided upon a project for this fancy little number:

I had my doubts, as it looked and was talked up as an 'easy project' and would only 'take a few days.' Knitters are BLOODY LIARS!

Really, what in the hell was I thinking?!?

Updates and pictures provided as deemed necessary. Profanity and obscene finger gestures are included, at no extra charge.

*Unnecessary update #1-I can do cables! Or ribbing. I can do bumpy stuff! See?

But I'm doing it too loosely, so need different needles. Knitters are not only bloody liars, they are also hopeless spendthrifts. Crazy, lying indigents, the lot of 'em (us).