I Lent The Good Title Away

So, it's another Shrove Tuesday come and gone, and I didn't get my freakin' free pancakes. I did get a few extra beads, though, and let me tell you, the guys at the deli counter are very generous.Now, you may be asking yourselves: Why, in the name of all that is holy, if free food is available within a 20 mile radius, wasn't Our Miss Tater knocking the door down of whatever establishment is offering up the goods? Well, because I was laying in the dirt, with dog water all over myself. Funny thing, gravity. There I was, on the teeny tiny little steps that lead down to our back yard, all in a grand attempt to give CatDog water. Apparently, dogs and other creatures, like, need water to live, and stuff. So, there I was, cup full of dog water in hand, while trying to close the door with the other hand. Good thing I wasn't chewing gum at the same time, or I'd have killed myself. Huge gust of wind takes that opportunity to kick up, blast the door out of my hand, and while clawing at empty air, I took one step backward and ended up on my back with water all over myself. It was like Final Destination For Dummies. (By the way, if anyone is interested in making up a phony movie poster/trailer for the above title, I'd be very happy and laugh till I pee myself to see it. Anyone at all.) So, I've had a dull shoulder and headache all day, but at least I have another excuse to get out of doing the dishes. (Malaria and anthrax only works for so long till people start to catch wise.)And ... that's your entertainment for today.Oh, and I've also come to a very important discovery. The world and the Internet really is in desperate need of Another Damn Knitting Blog. Consider this a public service, and don't thank me. Just send cash. Or yarn. No, just send cash, I can buy my own damn yarn.

(Yes, we're remodeling. The links will be back ... someday. Promise.)

(OK, so the remodeling kinda crapped out on me. The links are back, as is the original template. Can anyone else see me? Am I still here? If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it, and if this isn't the least bit funny, will anyone comment?

Olympic Medalists Don't Need Good Titles

I'm done with the hat! There was some concern about the size, when it looked like this (pre-blocking):










It looks a little bit better here, laying down:










But it looks normal, and good even, after blocking:










For those of you who aren't bored senseless yet, here's a picture of it right before I finished:














And an arial view, as it's being blocked:










For everyone who has stuck around, and may or may not have sense left, here's my non-knitting contribution to the blog:

You Are 36% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Now, back to knitting. I still have time to finish the mittens! To hell with gauge, I'm just working with the suggested needles. Podium, here I come. (Barring a crazed knitter coming at me with a crowbar and a vendetta.)

*Final KO update, before we continue with irregular scheduled programming:

This is as far as I got on the mittens, before Ricky Martin got up to shake his bon-bons onstage:










So. This was my personal best, I'm proud of myself, and I'm having a beer.

We shall resume our regularly scheduled drunken ramblings and blatherings-on about television and my stupid neighbors and whatever other shit I can come up with, next week.

Houston, We Have Bobbles!

I've been worried about this blog turning into a knitting blog. I've also been worried that posting pictures and talking about my knitting incessently would be kinda dorky.

Then I decided: Hell with it.

Because I can make bobbles! See?










And cables! Those too!










Cables and Bobbles!











Lots and lots of cables ... and ribbing ... and only one bobble.










Ok, so it's kind of a small and weak looking bobble ... but it's a bobble, dammit! Do not judge my Bobble, lest your own Bobbles may be judged. (Peanut Gallery, that's your cue.)

Oh, screw it. Here's a picture of a cat driving a car:

Can't Title, Knitting...

Things I've learned during these Knitting Olympics:
It doesn't do to cast on while drunk.
It may be fun, and you may believe that you are doing really, really well, but once the morning light shines across your bleary eyes and the kids are bouncing across your bleary body, and you finally see your bleary knitting project ... And you get it, blearily shutting up now.

Anyhow, after I decided to swear off the drink whilst knitting, I got to this stage in the hat process:










The ribbing is done, and I have since started on the cables. And
what pretty, pretty little cables they are. (Pictures soon, promise.)

Here is the same hat, only standing up to give you an idea of the standing up size.










And here's the inside of it, to prove that it is indeed round and hat-like:










And, to keep you non-knitters entertained, here is a picture of Gomez Addams and Thing:











I'm not sure if I'll get to the mittens, since I am currently pulling out stitches to get back on course again (I wasn't drunk, I swear. I was ice dancing, and my partner fell on top of me, and I was so very busy glaring at with him with the glare of icy death, I must have knit when I should have purled.) Plus, I missed a day to sickness, and life also has a pesky habit of requiring people to do things, like eat and be sick and subsequently not eat and hit the Internet searching for answers to why one may be sick (Can't go to doctor, knitting!) ... But that's enough of that.

Next step: Bobbles!

Marvel-ous Placeholder of DOOOOOM.

Ask all you want, but I'm not telling how I can swing between buildings, without any visible means of support.

You are Spider-Man

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.



Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...


(Thanks to Steph for the link.)

I Got Nothing.

I really don't. I just deleted an entire post starting with my hatred for Dragon Tales and ending with me shooting a man in Mexico just to watch him die, (and in between a bit about what I'm knitting now), and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't bear to bore the shit out of you, my faithful readers.

So, I'm going to dedicate this entire post to knitting.

I finally got the gauge right, after a few swatches and a couple needle size changes.
It's hard to see, but that's 5.25 stitches per inch, baby. (Which is good, please pay attention.)

I also learned myself how to knit in on double pointed needles. (Also good.) I had a little bit of a 'Duh!' moment when I finally learned why they were double pointed. (Yes, I'm fully aware how stupid this sounds. Bite me.) After a few tries, with the extra needles flying every which way, like a pair of plastic high school kids getting busy in the back of a Buick, only with yarn wrapped around their legs, and who's to say it has to be a Buick, why not a Ford ... and you know what? Let's forget the metaphors, they have no place here. After a few tries, I figured it out. And then ... uh ... well ... you know ...

Um ... have I mentioned that I killed a guy?

Muppetty Link Placeholder of DOOOOOOM!

The completely made up truth behind what happened to Jim Henson.

Discuss.